Lily

She wanted to let the dogs out one last time before bed. They ran out, barked and ran through the piles of leaves. “I’ve got to remember to clean up the yard this weekend,” she thought.
She looked over at her plants lined up against the house on the wooden picnic table. “Hello my Lily,” she said. Even though she knew that it sounded crazy, she thought that talking to her plants be good for them.

Her smallest dog stood by the door in an attempt to get back inside as quickly as she gave permission; it was colder outside than she thought it would be. She said, “Come on,” and gestured toward the door. The other dog hurried in behind her. She locked the back door but left the light on. She closed the dog gate so the dogs would stay in the kitchen. She turned off the TV and the living room lights. She looked over at the kitchen table and at the things that she would have to clean up tomorrow. Her husband left an empty cereal bowl on the table, his shoes and socks were under the coffee table. She checked garage door and locked all three locks, two deadbolts and the door knob lock. She closed the door to the laundry room and turned off the vent to the half bathroom. She was afraid of the dark and only turned off one light when another was on in her pathway. She couldn’t go out to the shed in the backyard alone to get things on her own, she had to call her husband to help her do this. She had visions of creepy people hiding in shadows. She thought about ghosts haunting her backyard or about ghosts walking though the front of her house on their way somewhere.

When she was young she was playing with her cousins in her grandparent’s backyard when they saw someone in the storage shed. A woman in a white dress was curled up and sitting on an old table, her bare feet on the lawnmower. As she watched her, the woman put a finger to her mouth, “Shhhhhh” she said, shaking and clearly upset. She ran to tell her grandfather, who talked to the woman who was hiding from her abusive boyfriend. In the end he escorted her away.

Last week when she went into her car the glove compartment was ajar. Thinking that the latch was broken, she started the car, which informed her that a door was still open. She leaned over and closed the passenger side door, confused and knowing that no one had been a passenger since that weekend and it was Wednesday. She texted her husband, “Did you get something from my car last night?” His response came when she was already at work, he called her and told her that no, he hadn’t, but that the police had been talking to all of the neighbors about someone going through their unlocked cars.

Now she locked everything. She grabbed her purse before heading upstairs to click the lock button on her car alarm panel just in case she might have forgotten to earlier. She left the front porch light on and locked the front door.

At three her husband hears something, he’s up and looking around. “Don’t go outside!” she yells. “Call the police if you see anything.” She knew he might try to do something rash in anger. He was the one who elected the “prosecute” box on the police report they filed. She got up, she was wide awake now, sitting on the top of the stairs. It was four a.m. She stared out the windows at the neighbor’s car, thinking that she would surely see someone soon and call the local police, a number which she recently programmed into her phone. Her husband let the dogs walk around and listen for noises. He looked outside through the curtains without caution. After some time he comes back upstairs. “We should keep all of the lights on from now on, and not lock the dogs in.” She agreed. “You didn’t hear that? Like a loud bang?” She hadn’t. “I also have to fix that other outside light by the cars, maybe put a flood light.” They headed for bed.

Even though she had to wake up at 6:30 for work, she was wide awake. She tossed and turned until she was uncomfortable in her own bed, then got up and did what she normally did when she couldn’t sleep. She grabbed her pillow and headed for the guest bedroom. “What’s the matter babe? Can’t sleep?” her husband sometimes was easily awakened when she got up. “No, I’m wide awake.” She even felt a little happy, like she was filled with energy, she thought she might just stay up and make a big breakfast, iron her clothes, take more time to do her makeup and hair. She would try to sleep first, since she knew she would just crash later in the evening if she didn’t.

She laid on the twin bed in the guest bedroom, curled up and faced the wall. She could hear an airplane in the distance and nothing else, she relaxed. She heard a small creek come from the direction of the door or the closet door, she wasn’t sure. She looked over quickly, and stared at the door for some time. “It could have been nothing.” She thought. She stared for what seemed like fifteen minutes and turned back around. After awhile she was started to get a little drowsy and knew that she would soon get up and head back to her own bed, as this was more comfortable and she might not be able to hear her alarm from the guest room. When she was about to grab her pillow and get up, a soft whisper, an unfamiliar, shaky voice, warm and humid and close to her ear said, “Hello my Lily.”

The Rules of April Fool’s

April Fools jokes are a tradition in my family. When I was young my grandmother would tell us that the ice cream truck was outside and that we could have what we wanted, and my sister and I would run to the front yard while my grandmother laughed at us, yelling, “April Fool’s!” No ice cream truck. But it was all in good fun; we laughed and planned revenge, telling my grandma things like “Grandma your food is burning!”, which would sometimes happen when she cooked and then went to talk to her friends on the phone. She would walk to the kitchen and we would all yell, “April Fool’s!” and we would all enjoy a good laugh.

My father, being true to his hereditary, also played a few pranks on us. He would say, “One of your friends is here to see you,” and we would walk to the front door and no one was there. For revenge, I called him after work and told him that my car didn’t start, something that happened to me earlier that same month, and he had to drive to school to help me. When he started to leave his house and said, “I’ll be right there,” I said, yeah, you guessed it.
I have a few small pranks planned this year, but it’s always good to be cautious, so I’ve listed a few important things to remember about April Fool’s Day pranks that might be helpful.

Keep the Jokes Lighthearted
Don’t be cruel. I don’t plan on telling my husband that I’m pregnant, and I don’t plan on calling my parents to tell him that I had a car accident or that I’m in the hospital. That’s just mean. Keep your pranks lighthearted. This year I told my husband that I flunked my exam. I’m telling my friends and some family that I’m going to eat meat again, after five years of being a vegetarian. Try not to tell people jokes that might greatly affect them or their lives negatively. Also, big jokes can have big consequences, so please be safe and don’t do anything dangerous like attempt to run in front of your friend’s car just to scare your parents, you might really end up hurt.

Don’t Prank Someone if You Can’t Be Pranked Yourself
People love revenge, they plot, they scheme. So be prepared for their revenge pranks, it’s only fair.

Don’t Let the Jokes Linger
Don’t tell your sister that creditors are calling her about an unpaid bill and then have her worry about it all day. It might cause her unnecessary stress. Tell the person the prank, and after they believe you, let them know that you’re joking.

Be Professional
I don’t recommend you prank you boss or anyone you work with, even if your boss is the office jester ala Michael Scott. You never know how they’re going to react and create an awkward situation. Also, keep in mind that not all people like to be pranked. Respect that. Try to prank only people you know will have a great sense of humor about being pranked.

Make it Believable
If you can elaborate in your prank, it makes it more believable. Tell your mom that the salon dyed your hair blue on accident but that you really like it, elaborate by telling her things like the name of the salon, and the time of your appointment. It’s also good to prank someone about something that’s happened before, like telling your roommates that lost your keys again and have to pay for new locks, but only after payday. Also, if you’re planning a revenge prank, be sure to space out the time between pranks so that they won’t remember to suspect you, and you can do it when its least expected.

Be Prepared to Apologize
Sometimes you’ll think it’s ok to prank someone, and find that you’ve made them upset. Be sure to apologize to the people who might have hurt feelings and be sure to cross them off of your April Fool’s Day prank list. If you’ve really hurt someone’s feelings and they’re very upset and you feel guilty about it, I would try to make it up to them somehow, maybe buy them some sunflowers or make them an apology dessert. Chocolate almost always makes things better.